I miss this innocence
Tenderest soul to bless
Life seems such a mess
Consciousness must confess
So much pain and duress
Few have much finesse
What's left to impress?
Where's love's soft caress?
Who listens to what he says?
How may we deal with this stress?
Why not more, rather than less?
How may a hurting heart find some rest?
Third Eye Photography - K.M.
Melancholy often sets in .. as I look upon my shining son's beautiful face. I wonder how so many unfortunate event could ever have befallen our sacred real-ationship. Looking within .. I wonder how I may have inadvertently forsaken my child. Seeing his purity and remembering his joy, all I know is that I most assuredly miss the magic that I rarely see peeking out from the precious folds of my once so very loving little boy.
I begin to cry as I write this heart-felt stirring ... Knowing that my feelings are mine and that there will be people peering int, who will not relate or even understand what I am sharing. Yet, at least I know that I am caring and courageous enough to divulge my divine divinity. With an ever hopeful heart, pray that these pieces of truth that I am continually putting back together, help support the healing of even one person. That means everything.
My son and I have surely paid the price for me speaking my truth, dancing my passions, publicly displaying my affection, and expressing my highest and happiest self.
All I can do is believe, hold onto the child that is still crying for my attention, and allow that which and whom I conditionally love, to come back ...
In the meantime, I am loving myself in wondrous light-filled ways that I almost forgot how to.
This evening, after stretching outside, with my beloved tree, I danced in front of a big mirror, to music that makes this forgotten hot house flower, bloom.
Looking after what is right and real.
Magical Momma K
I captured these illuminating images .. close to 2 years ago. Kaelin was creating a lot of fresh, organic fruit smoothies. He still had his best and youngest, downstairs neighbor friend; Charlie, who has since moved out .. . They were like brothers.
Soon after this picture, my brilliant boy began to really change. Deadly trolls began stalking us, online, causing our famed and well loved youtube channel; " Life of an Amazing Mommy," featuring almost 500 of our video's which took 4 years to create and upload, to be deleted. Kaelin began really withdrawing. I filed a police report. I was told that our local protector's were in no position to defend me, even with the reporting of rape threat on Facebook and death threats on youtube. Even kidnapping threats to my growing young man, did not seem to make a difference. Not to mention the sorrowful fact that my son was and is still .. inundated on his own, later and courageously created youtube channel, Slanderous projections of the most impure type and ill-minded ilk. What KIND of developing mind, would not be adversely affected by a segregated, yet .... outrageous public outcry of insanity, over a supremely bonded Mother and Son, who were once so very happy, many would and are inclined .. to call it and see it as purest BLISS?
My son has been scarred, badly. I see his pain and it brings me much sadness, on a regular and enduring basis. And, the saddest aspect .. rarely a soul speaks out ... concerning what has been allowed to occur!
Well, time to wipe my tears. Trust that my son will come home, tonight. Keep positive, no matter
the amount of utter sleep deprivation and hurts, that persists in coming out, to be looked at and tended to. Being real and honest with myself and continuing to be the best possible role model that any rising .. son could ever wish for, dream of, and be granted the Goddess-given gift to live with and be offered the love of ..!!!!
Very special K