Seems that we woeful beggars
not of those chosen choosers
Seen as merely irksome losers
due to life-threateng abusers
Those who harshly deceives
will oneday assuredly;leave
People without real passion
do not know how to receive
Power is not to give or take
heart's create to never forsake
Being bssy is not valid excuse
kindest others; yee shall lose
A will to live; dies first, within
helpers hinder in personal sin
Giving does not cost any, at all
Moral fiber; made - standing tall
Turned head; as if you can't see
missing out on the essential me
Daughter, Mother, Sister, Aunt
Cousin, Niece; always "Can't"
I have turned my life inside out
to understand what it's all about
Saddens my heart; feeling lies
until one's hope; finally dies
Wiping up pup pee, this evening
I saw myself, this earth - leaving
No one moaned or cried for me
only things the selfish can see
Are riches attained - materially
someone with love; materanlly
Viewed without light; insantiy
darkness breeds imoral majority!
I 'saw' all of this .. at 16 and 17.
Even wriiting in my peronal journals'
of my innate knowledge ...
"Dont' ever change, Kathy," is one
person's voice ... I still, often hear .
Just some guy who paid me well,
to paint his cupboards. Giving me
$50.00's during the 70's to copyright
my rhymatic pentameter, which i used
to recite;on a regular basis, on a local
Chilliwack Cable show: Pause for Poetry,:
with Chris Christian.
One day i hope to thank him for freely
bestowing that ultimate gift - his wisdom
to truly 'see' me.
I moved from a big city , after 30 years
of pretending to myself. Hopping over
one island to live on another 'friendlier'
place. I am isolated, not by virtue of
geography or even insanity. Simply put,
those who wish to call themselves - closest
to me.... have chosen to disregard and harbour
unreal grudges against me.
Even my own beloved son; this "Amazing
Mommy" is allowed to rarely see. Due to a
delinquent , 'deadbeat dad' who is so mad
at Women; as in "WE" - that he takes out
his woeful wrath - upon ME.
My once so rising - Son; blindfolded by
berserk hormones of puberty. is told; "You
have a choice." He knows not that others
with sins against their own Mothers' wish
him, his own .. to dishonorably disown.
And he pretty has; due to dirty dealings ...
and healings .. yet to take place. I am
tired of being hurt and lookie loos' looking
in .. All i want is a long overdue hug and real
kindness from Him.
Those who allow pain to be a part of their
daily lives - die as they cheat on their wives.
Offerning consdolensces; whilst tucking
in their f--ng dirty shirts that never fit in the .
first place. What loviing Mother wants to look
into a liars pretending face?
My son chose to shine upon me for a long
and blessed time. Until mental torture ..
that did intertwine .. thanks to others who
fell prey to envy of our innocent love.
Leading to "push follows shove" No Angel
from above .. in having her heavenly say,
would ever condone what has been done
Yet no mattter what, no one can destroy
edternal love - between Blessed Mother
and soon to be rising .. Son!
I was going to end this with :
"Good thing i live on an Island that is an
ancient burial ground for the Indian's dead."
Instead, i let it go ..
Yet, that not not absolve me of my responsibiltiy
to "tell the truth,"- for " as long as I shall live."
Love from one Goddess - dying to be heard .. in
a world of wounded ME-N.