Saturday, February 2, 2013

"Beggars can not be Choosers?"

After vomiting 10x in 45 minustes, 2 weeks ago - thanks to stressors' beyond belief; in this 'new life.' If it wasn't for my child wrapping his sweet self around me, i do not kkow what this tired-out person and negleced heart .. would do!
Thank you, King Kaelin for beng yourself and the 'rest' - shelving, for a brief and loving while. This .. alone, makes this Mothers hopeful heart .. smile!


                                                     Seems that we woeful beggars
                                                      not of those chosen choosers
                                                      Seen as merely irksome losers
                                                      due to life-threateng abusers

                                                      Those who harshly deceives
                                                      will oneday assuredly;leave

                                                      People without real passion
                                                      do not know how to receive

                                                      Power is not to give or take            
                                                      heart's create to never forsake
                                                      Being bssy is not valid excuse
                                                      kindest others; yee shall lose

                                                      A will to live; dies first, within
                                                      helpers hinder in  personal sin

                                                      Giving does not cost any, at all
                                                      Moral fiber; made - standing  tall

                                                       Turned head; as if you can't see
                                                       missing out on the essential me

                                                       Daughter, Mother, Sister, Aunt
                                                       Cousin, Niece; always "Can't"

                                                       I have turned my life inside out
                                                       to understand what it's all about

                                                        Saddens my heart; feeling lies
                                                        until one's hope; finally dies

                                                        Wiping up pup pee, this evening
                                                         I saw myself, this earth - leaving

                                                        No one moaned or cried for me
                                                         only things the selfish can see

                                                         Are riches attained - materially
                                                         someone with love; materanlly

                                                         Viewed without light; insantiy
                                                          darkness breeds imoral majority!

                                                         Katherine Marion



                                                          I 'saw' all of this .. at 16 and 17. 
                                                          Even wriiting in my peronal journals'
                                                          of my innate knowledge ...

                                                         "Dont' ever change, Kathy," is one
                                                           person's voice ... I still, often hear .

                                                          Just some guy who paid me well,
                                                          to paint his cupboards. Giving me
                                                          $50.00's during the 70's to copyright
                                                          my rhymatic pentameter, which i used
                                                          to recite;on a regular basis, on a local
                                                          Chilliwack  Cable show: Pause for Poetry,:
                                                          with Chris Christian.

                                                          One day i hope to thank him for freely
                                                          bestowing that ultimate gift - his wisdom
                                                          to truly 'see' me.

                                                          I moved from a big city , after 30 years
                                                          of pretending to myself. Hopping over
                                                          one island to live on another 'friendlier'
                                                          place. I am isolated, not by virtue of
                                                          geography or even insanity. Simply put,
                                                          those who wish to call themselves - closest
                                                          to me.... have chosen to disregard and harbour
                                                          unreal grudges against me.

                                                         Even my own beloved son; this "Amazing
                                                         Mommy" is allowed to rarely see. Due to a
                                                         delinquent , 'deadbeat dad' who is so mad
                                                         at Women; as in "WE" - that he takes out
                                                         his woeful wrath - upon ME.
                                                         My once so rising - Son; blindfolded by
                                                         berserk hormones of puberty. is told; "You
                                                         have a choice." He knows not that others
                                                         with sins against their own Mothers' wish
                                                          him, his own .. to dishonorably disown.

                                                          And he pretty has; due to dirty dealings ...
                                                          and healings .. yet to take place. I am
                                                           tired of being hurt and lookie loos' looking
                                                          in .. All i want is a long overdue hug and real
                                                          kindness from Him.
                                                          Those who allow pain to be a part of their
                                                          daily lives - die as they cheat on their wives.
                                                          Offerning consdolensces; whilst tucking 
                                                         in their f--ng dirty shirts that never fit in the .
                                                         first place.  What loviing Mother wants to look 
                                                          into a liars pretending face?

                                                          My son chose to shine upon me for a long
                                                          and blessed time. Until mental torture ..
                                                          that did intertwine .. thanks to others who
                                                          fell prey to envy of our innocent love.
                                                          Leading to "push follows shove" No Angel
                                                          from above .. in having her heavenly say,
                                                          would ever condone what has been done
                                                          Yet no mattter what, no one can destroy
                                                         edternal love - between Blessed Mother
                                                          and soon to be rising .. Son!

                                                           I was going to end this with :

                                                         "Good thing i live on an Island that is an
                                                          ancient burial ground for the Indian's dead."
                                                          Instead, i let it go ..

                                                         Yet, that not not absolve me of my responsibiltiy
                                                          to "tell the truth,"- for " as long as I shall live."

                                                          Love from one Goddess - dying to be heard .. in
                                                          a world of wounded ME-N.








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